Acrylic

I don't tend to paint much in acrylic, so I decided to change that.

Landscape assignment

Old as hell flower painting assignment that now hangs in my kitchen

And my latest attempt at acrylic painting and I can't decide whether I like it or it seriously disturbs me.

Peace Out,

~Lenny

FREEDOM

I'm a bit delayed in expressing my joy in finally being free of school, but as my dad likes to quote, "Better late than never". So here's some art. :]

More ATCs. Left to right: acrylic, pencil crayon, watercolour & ink. Lyrics belong to the Beatles.

Finally more ROP art! My assignment for "Gas".

Those roses took me forever.

An experiment with new Tria markers that I threw together for my friend because one of her Christmas presents is a picture frame and the generic couple that come with the picture frame were creeping me out.
So let's see, this break is off to a GREAT start.

And by great I mean I'm having loads of fun and it's only gonna get better from here on out. I shall update with details as soon as I'm able to type coherently.
I hope your holidays are going well!
Peace,

~Lenny

More School Artwork

A few of the Artist Trading Cards I made for charity. The bottom two are envelope designs :] Art nouveau inspired like WHOA.

States of Matter title pages. Left to right: Solid, Liquid, Gas.

Sorry I haven't been posting much personal art, but then again, I haven't been making much (aka ANY). Apparently senior visual arts means that you have no life outside of drawing at ALL. One part of me really doesn't mind, and one part realizes that my creativity will soon sap out if not vanish completely. Which would be bad.

I had a little blast from the past a few weeks back and god this thing is damn catchy STILL: CLICK

Nothing much has been happening as of late except for the fact that I basically lost my voice and now sound like Darth Vader going through puberty. Not fun times.

Peace,

~Lenny

For fuck's sake.

I have too much homework to do today, so the most obvious choice is to update the ol' blog.

I'm so sick and tired of so many things. I want more time to sleep.

I'm not even worried about the physics lab/math assignment/sketchbook progress work/art trading cards/art history essay that needs to get done.

At least, that doesn't worry me as much as learning how to walk in heels in a week.

I'm already basically 6' tall, what in the name of fuck do I need heels for?

I read somewhere that high heels are man's invention to make it more difficult for us to run away.

I can not agree more.

Oh yeah and after spending all of yesterday shopping, I finally found a dress.

Yeah I didn't expect it from myself either. O_O;

But I do like it a lot. If I was more of a dress person I'd make myself more excuses to wear it.

~Lenny

Art Projects

Media Arts set.

To anyone who says I don't draw realism, SUCK ON THAT. Still Life Narrative Assignment.

Tequila sunrise~ Art Sketchbook assignment "Liquids"

My two paper prayers this year for the topic "Responsibility". Cross stitching a fetus? Never again.

Peace Out guys, and Happy weekend,

~Lenny

Mucha card & brief rant.

Mucha inspired card for Livia.

Oh and hey, physics teacher? You're an asshole. Thanks for splitting our presentation over two days you incompetent dumbass.

Hey Cawthra? Today was not a good day.

I'm gonna go papier mache and cool off.

Peace,

~Lenny

Remembrance Day poster final & comic site update

Finally done :]

Oh and I finally got off my ass this weekend and snazzed up the old comic site, (still no new updates DD:) 

CLICK FOR LINK

Added an "About" and "Characters" page.

Html is misery for me. Always. So out of practice. :(

~Lenny

This is Halloween

Halloween costume 09 pics!

I went as a mafia member. :]

~Lenny

R-Day, my week, and kittens

My media arts remembrance day poster work in progress. 

There hasn't been much art posting from me lately mostly because I find it remarkably hard to find time to do things that I'd like to do instead of need to do. 

This entire week was horribly tiring, I don't know how I'm still alive, seriously. 

Monday was alright, first real day back to TKD with no injuries, so I enjoyed that greatly. Private lesson! That was unexpected but kind of nice. If not quiet. Really quiet. 

Tuesday was HELL. I have no other words to describe it. Swim practice first thing in the morning, followed by school, a fire drill, then guitar and TKD. Only 3 people showed up to TKD. What is this, early hibernation?

Wednesday I headed off to Value Village with a few friends to look for remaining Halloween costume pieces. Didn't actually end up finding anything, instead we went out to eat and then I went to TKD. Deserted as this entire week has been. 

Yesterday was pretty hectic too. Swim practice after school, and then I dashed off to the TKD Halloween party since I promised to come help out. I didn't actually manage to get there on time but hey, I tried. Then took the class and went home to collapse in front of my computer and read Bridget Jones' Diary.

I'm looking around the internet for anyone giving away free kittens, since I'm looking for one now. Preferably male, but it doesn't need to be. Kittens please, no cats. If you have any info that could be of use to me please comment :]

~Lenny

R.I.P. Murka

R.I.P.

Murka.

2003-2009.

My cat Murka died on Wednesday, October 21, found in my neighbour's yard by my parents. Nobody bothered to tell me, and I didn't notice until yesterday.

She was an outdoor cat, and we're pretty sure it was poison that killed her. There was no blood, so pesticides or eating some contaminated mouse is the generally accepted idea.

2009 has been about loss for me.

Loss. Adjustment. Moving on but never wanting to.

And now, as the cherry on the cake, the world took my baby away from me.

My best friend.

Who's going to take up meow at ungodly hours in the morning until I let her in to sleep on the bottom half of my bed?

Who's going to take up 3/4s of my bed and leave me trying to sleep in an uncomfortable curled-up position?

Who's going to leave grey cat hair over all my black sweaters, usually right before I need to wear them?

Who's going to sleep beside me and purr when I'm sick or feeling horrible?

Who's going to be irritated at me when I forget to feed her or refill her water dish?

Who's going to bring back headless bunnies and leave them in the backyard so I trip over them and shriek like a banshee?

Who's going to meow and nudge me every time I start yelling to quiet down?

Who's going to run out of my room every time I play Rammstein or my guitar too loud?

Who's going to give me the most innocent look after she's done something wrong so I can never really be mad at her?

Who's going to put up with my baby talk and the hundreds of names I've called her over the years, ranging from Fuzzy, Fuzzface, Murkie, Kittycat, and cutie pie?

Who's ever going to have the 'O' pattern in her stripes and the 'M' on her forehead?

I didn't take any pictures of you and I together because I never thought I'd need to. And now I miss you more than anything I ever missed before.
Now all I have left is photographs and memories.

Memories that I'm so scared I'll lose, because you meant everything to me.

It didn't matter to you how tired I was, or how irritable, or how horrible I looked that day, you loved me regardless.

I didn't even notice you were gone for good until 4 days after. I'm a horrible human being and you loved me anyways.
What I hate the most is that I didn't get to say goodbye.

I never get to say goodbye.

I hope that your 6 years on earth with us were happy and good, regardless of how many squirrels and neighbourhood miniature poodles you terrorized.

I can cry for the next months straight and give myself a huge headache and it will never bring you back.

I promise I'll never try to put a harness and leash on you again.

I'd give anything to have you back.

You'll be in my heart.

Always.

Post-Secondary Panic

I figured I'd get an early start on this so I can get it out of the way.

Is it just me or are school websites designed to be as impossible to navigate as humanly possible? They do not allow for BROWSING. AT ALL. You need to know exactly what you want and then google it. Ugh. Anyways.

So, the priorities for me in a college/university are as follows:
- MUST be in Canada I don't have the money, and I refuse to take American History. I don't care.
- Close to home. I want to live at home. I don't want to live in a dorm, or by myself anywhere in the near future. Maybe after I learn how to cook so I don't have to survive on scrambled eggs and cereal.
- Close enough so I can go to TKD OR has a good TKD club close by Because I have my priorities :3
- Good program DUH.

I've finally figured what I might apply for LOL. I guess I kind of knew all along but hey.
Illustration or Graphic Design. I realized that this is what I want to do with my life. I think.

Major major flaw to this? Canada doesn't have many schools that offer Illustration. They are ALL in the U.S. of A.
Which makes me really really sad since that cuts off a lot of schools from my potential list.

But here we go, the schools I decided on and their pros and cons.

Sheridan College Institute of Technology and Advanced Learning.
Program: Bachelor of Applied Arts (Illustration)

Requirements:
- Grade 12 English credit
- 1 senior level Visual Arts credit at M or O level
- 4 Grade 12 credits at U or M level
- Minimum 65% average
- Portfolio

Pros:
- Close to home!
- I've always wanted at least a Bachelors degree, and all the schools I've looked at for the programs I want only offer (at most) an Advanced Diploma. Just a weird thing of mine.
- I've heard great things about this program from a few people that I've asked, they all love it.

Cons:
- Uhm. Other than the fact that my parents would like me to go to a University, there are none that I have found.

Program: Bachelor of Design (Honours)

Requirements:
- OSSD
- Grade 12 English credit
- 6 Grade 12 credits at U or M level including one Grade 12 (U or M) course from one of the following disciplines: Canadian and World Studies; Classical Languages and International Languages; French: Mathematics; Social Science and Humanities or Native Studies.
- Portfolio

Pros:
- Also close to home!
- Also a Bachelors degree!
- It's offered in conjunction with York University which is cool :]

Cons:
- 6 GRADE 12 CREDITS AT U or M LEVEL? WHAT. THAT'S CRAZY TALK. no seriously, I was planning on taking mostly art courses with are OPEN courses. Thank GOD RAP courses are M courses.

Ryerson University
Program: Graphic Design

Requirements:
- I'm assuming something like grade 12 English and a portfolio.

Pros:
- Close to home

Cons:
- NO INFORMATION ON THE PROGRAM AT ALL. WTF.

George Brown College
Program: Graphic Design (Advanced Diploma)

Requirements:
- OSSD
- Grade 12 English credit
- Portfolio

Pros:
- Close to home
- Advanced Diploma
- Looking through the compulsory courses, I see I am given a LOT of electives. 4 for semester4 and 5, and then 2 in semester 6

Cons:
- Honestly the curriculum sounds remarkably dull. Things like "Design" "Drawing" "College English" "Design Culture" "Typography" and a lot of electives apparently.

Humber College Institute of Technology and Advanced Learning
Program: Graphic Design (Advanced Diploma)

Requirements:
- OSSD
- Grade 12 English Credit
- 3 Grade 12 credits at U or M level
- Portfolio

Pros:
- Close to home
- If Amy decides to take her Bachelors of Industrial Design there, I'll have Amy there :]
- Advanced Diploma

Cons:
- Looking at the compulsory courses, they seem really....business oriented. And dull. As well as advertisement oriented.

St. Lawrence College
Program: Graphic Design (Advanced Diploma)

Requirements:
- OSSD
- Grade 12 English credit
- MAJORITY of Grade 11 and 12 courses must be of C, M or U level. (god knows what majority means. Hopefully 5)

Pros:
- Looking through the compulsory courses, I'm in love. This sounds amazing. "Digital photography" "Design Illustration" "Life Drawing" "Colour Theory and Perception" "Design Typography" "Advanced Layout"

Cons:
- It's too far. 3 hours too far actually. I won't be able to live at home. I need to look into TKD clubs.

PHEW.

That's all for now. And that's plenty.
Advice, comments, insights are all welcome and appreciated. Oh and help. Help would be nice.

~Lenny

New art

Inspired by the song "Heavyweight" by Infected Mushroom. Cause obviously high music is the best kind. I'm sorry I only draw weird shit D:

Bill Kaulitz in all his fauxhawk I-still-can't-make-him-look-girly-enough glory. :]

And my art assignment. Bookmark for the book "Notre Dame de Paris"

~Lenny

Swimming, school, food, TKD

I am so remarkably tired that it's kind of ridiculous. It's only a month and a half into school and I can't keep my eyes open. I am ready for second semester to start already so I don't have to calculate anything. 

That and I'm really REALLY hungry.

4th lunch is not cool >_>;

TKD has been so lonely lately, it really makes me sad. We're in much the same situation we were this time last year. Basically one teacher, everyone either not going at all or going irregularly. *sigh*

Yeah I'm just annoyed that I get paired up with whoever's left over.

So yeah, I went the the Explore Design fair type thing yesterday on a school field trip. Which was informative if slightly dull. 

If before I had one or two options for my post-secondary education, now I have more like 15 O_O;

Which is kind of not helping me in any way at all. 

I want to do art for a living, I think I've decided on either illustration or graphic design. 

I also would like to live at home, for various reasons such as the fact that if I live alone I'll die of starvation. That and I am NOT ready to leave home yet. I don't understand people who can't wait till they do. Its' pretty much an impossible concept for me to grasp. 

My 3 so far are Sheridan, Ryerson, and St. Lawrence.

The first two are close to home, the last not so much. But it's closer than something like Ohio or New York. 

I still have time to think, so maybe that'll change. 

Oh, and next summer I am most likely going to Ukraine, which is awesome on one hand, and not so awesome on the other. 

Awesome because I love my family and I want to get out of Canada for a bit because all I do here is be bored out of my mind. Unless my parents drag me camping in which case I'm also irritable. I think it'd be good for me to get away from it all and just chill. Concentrate on having fun and nothing else. 

Not so awesome because I'm already thinking about how horribly out of shape I'm going to be when i get back and how badly I'm going to die at TKD. I'll also miss all my friends, since I will be internet-less for the most part when I'm there. So, basically a month and a half of no communication with the world over here in Canada land. I am NOT looking forward to answering my emails when I get back. 

But I'm worrying ahead of time, as per usual. 

In other news, first swim practice of the the year is today! The practices have been moved to twice a week instead of 3 times, and they are now Tuesday mornings and Thursday afternoons.

Which means we don't have the luxury of ever missing a practice. 

Time to get my butt in gear and cut some seconds off my times, and seeing as I haven't been swimming for real since February, this shall be interesting if nothing else. 

Peace,

~Lenny

Music & Surrealism

Hello all,

New Media arts surrealism photo manipulation.

But that's not really my topic of choice today. I was on Facebook a few minutes ago and I came across this:

"I don't want to give away too much about what it will sound like, because so much will change before the end, but its...not what you would expect. Its definitely not happy married music, but its not like I'm dying the whole time either. Its dark, sarcastic, fun, strange, familiar, and very different at the same time. It makes me feel alive and I wish I could show you right now. If you were here, at my house, I would pour you a drink and we would turn it up really loud and rock out to it, and I know you would love it"

- Amy Lee on the new Evanescence CD

I think Evanescence was a major part of my depressed 13-year old-dom, but it was what it needed to be for me at the time, and I do still like them :]

SPEAKING OF MUSIC I LIKE.

TOKIO HOTEL CD ANYONE? :D

I bought myself the German copy the day that it came out and OMGGGG I'm freaking out a little every single time I listen to it. SO. AMAZING. I didn't know how they were going to add the techno deal into their music and not turn it into something weird, but GODDAMN they succeeded and I could not be happier.

I'll shut up now,

~Lenny

Nuit Blanche 2009

Because you couldn't have possibly expected an art geek like me to miss out on something like this, could you?

I didn't get too many pictures, but here's what I did get.

A puddle of vodka. My Eastern European ancestry enjoyed this immensely, though I probably will never understand contemporary art.

THREE WORDS. FREE. COTTON. CANDY. word.

The description said that when you moved in the marked off squares in certain ways, it set off different sounds. I think it was a social experiment to see how long you can make random people flail and jump around while you have a CD blaring or random dings! :D

Hanging walkie talkies I think they were. Please excuse my photos of epic fail. Between the dark and my temperamental camera, I'm surprised you can make out any of this.

THIS WAS SO AWESOME. 10 port-a-potties lined up, each one had a different smell inside. I particularly enjoyed the Vanilla and the one that smelled like wet grass.

Not a piece of art was still awesome. Some guy painted himself like a statue and freaked the hell out of people when he moved.

Giant metallic bunny balloon.

I didn't get close enough since the line was huge, but there was some kind of blindfolded cage match going on.

Yuliya with one of the hockey statues.

LOL. Just LOL.

What I learned about nuit blanche was that my fingers almost froze off, it smelled like a mixture of weed, cigarette smoke and alcohol, and was one of the funnest nights of this year. My feet were killing me, but it was amazing.

Can't wait to go again next year.

Peace,

~Lenny

HOW COULD IIIIIIIII MAKE A MAAAAAAAAANN OUT OF YOUUUUUUUU

I need new music, I'm getting really bored of what I already listen to at the moment. Even though I've been listening to a lot of Disney soundtrack stuff lately, which is obviously impossible to get tired of. 

I hate math. 

I may quite possibly fail math this semester and be grounded until I'm 35. 

I HAVE NEVER FAILED MATH BEFORE.

Our teacher is a psycho, and I'm seriously not even kidding. He gave us one hour to do a 2 hour test, and gave us shit we haven't even SEEN let alone reviewed on the unit test. WTF WTF WTF.

Out of every question he took up on the board, I got maybe one right?

It's not that it was hard, but it was the fact that I had a whole 2 minutes to spend on each question.

UGH. 

I should have taken workplace math and learned how to balance my sketchbook, because somehow, I think, that would come more in handy than ever having to announce to a grocery store clerk that 'x' is an element of real numbers such that can not equal 2, 0 and -1/4.

Amy's birthday is next week and I seriously need to get a move on that card. 

I also have some posters/flyers to do for TKD, and also no printer >_>;

*sigh*

Life is dull and repetitive. 

(finally)

Peace,

~Lenny

Schoolwork

Well here are two finished art pieces, both of which I'm proud of for various reasons.

Sketchbook assignment for this month, spark word "solid". I am so proud of the straight lines on this since I hate buildings and straight lines and GAH. >_>;

Media Arts "humanimal" project, the FINAL final version XD

I did this virtually entirely by mouse, so I'm damn proud of that. (Only the whiskers had tablet assistance)
Half-day tomorrow, so I'm excited.

Peace,
~Lenny

Humanimal transformation ver. Lenny

Here's my media arts assignment, which was to transform myself into an animal. 

Here's the "before" mug shot, 

And here's Lenny as a furry.

Mad props to those who can guess the animal. 

If you can't, well I guess I have a lot of work left to do D:

~Lenny

P.S. Computer still down, I'm typing this up in media arts

Songs That Shaped my Summer.

List seven songs that you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs.
stolen off of: http://rcvision.blogspot.com/

The videos should be largely ignored.

1. Everything is Alright - Motion City Soundtrack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMTGMRIDU6I
Give me a reason to end this discussion,
To break with tradition.
To fold and divide.
Cause I hate the ocean, theme parks and airplanes,
Talking with strangers, waiting in line..
I'm through with these pills that make me sit still.
"Are you feeling fine?"
"Yes, I feel just fine."

2. Carnival of Rust - Poets of the Fall
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRVrQsdWDds
It's all a game, avoiding failure, when true colours will bleed
All in the name of misbehavior and the things we don't need
I lust for after no disaster can touch us anymore
And more than ever, I hope to never fall, where enough is not the same it was before
Come feed the rain
'Cause I'm thirsty for your love
dancing underneath the skies of lust

3. Automatic - Tokio Hotel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Mi1xxT3Fqc
You're automatic, And your voice is electric
Why do I still believe?
It's automatic
Everywhere in your letter
A lie that makes me bleed
It's automatic
When you say things get better
But they never...
There's no real love in you
Why do I keep loving you

4. Laughing With - Regina Spektor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rov3pV9PsRI
No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
When they’re starving or freezing or so very poor
No one laughs at God
When the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one’s laughing at God
When it’s gotten real late
And their kid’s not back from the party yet

5. Zusammen - Lafee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qe5eLk1jNNA
Wir stehen zusammen
Wir gehen zusammen
Zusammen bis in den Tod
Wir leben zusammen
Wir schweben zusammen
Zusammen bis in den Tod

(We stand together
We unite
Together into death
we live together
We float together into death)

6. Винтаж - Одиночество любви /От Москвы до Нью-Йорка
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NPL_7duKfQ&feature=related
Ну а кого мы любим
С тем никогда не будем
Зачем же мы забыли что мы люди?
Отпусти свой крик
К полюсам Земли лети
От Москвы до Нью-Йорка
Сквозь открытые окна
Без адреса летит над миром смотри
Этот крик одиночества любви

(But who do we love,
With that one we will never be
Why have we forgotten that we are people?
Let go your yell
To the poles of the earth, fly
From Moscow to New York
Through open windows
Without an address fly over the world look
This yell of the loneliness of love)

7. Moy Rai - Maksim
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XmQHlJn10Q

(Maybe this is my heaven,
Looking for his reflection
In objects of black colour,
And hear May in his voice.
Maybe this is my heaven,
In the rays of light from the window,
The sky seems so close
When eyes are the colour of heaven)

~Lenny

School.

Here comes my first post from media arts where I'm too far ahead for what we're doing and am waiting till tomorrow to start taking pictures that I shall morph into an animal, since I don't look too great today.

I don't mind Macs as much as I used to, but my widescreen PC is the love of my life, I don't care what anyone says :D

Physics is picking up slightly, any class where I'm allowed to throw Barbies attached to elastics for some kind of bungee jumping lab is alright in my books. 

I kind of wish it wasn't so early in the morning though. 

Math is well....math. My teacher is pretty cool, all thinks considered, but I'm convinced that no teacher, no matter how great can possibly make math interesting.

Media Arts, is by far right now the highlight of my day. Great class, great people and computers and Photoshop. Love it. 

Art I'm kind of excited for, but more interested in what we actually end up doing. Being seniors now we have so much more leeway in terms of assignment topics and that excites me :]

That's my little ramble on how life is going at the moment. Having physics and math in the morning is horrible and I realized that I am ditching my friends more and more often for the sake of sleep. I love my sleep. And as Vanessa said, I know how much we joke about us dying without each other, but it just isn't true. I can live without you, painfully, but I can. I can not however live without sleep. 

~Lenny

Books

So I was lurking around my Goodreads after I got home today from Jean shopping and I've accumulated quite a to-read list.
I admit, I don't read nearly as much as I used to back in elementary school, high school really does take a lot out of you, but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things.

I realize that I'm seriously missing out on classic Russian literature, because quite honestly, I read remarkably slowly in Russian. My vocabulary is limited, and yeah I'm just largely out of practice. I've heard of people learning the language for the sole reason of being able to read things like Anna Karenina, The Master and Margarita, War and Peace (ok maybe not War and Peace) in the original Russian text. To me, that is insane.
Russian is a remarkably difficult language and far far more advanced and beautiful than English could ever hope to be. I find myself often frustrated at how hard it is to translate between the two.

I've never liked classics. I was forced to read them as a child, and I've read some of the better ones, Oliver Twist, Treasure Island, Journey to the Center of the Earth, 20,000 Leagues under the sea, Tom Sawyer, etc. etc. and those weren't THAT painful.
Forcing myself to read through the entirety of Pride and Prejudice however, was immensely painful.
Maybe I'm easily bored or maybe I have horrible taste in books, but hey at least I know what I like.

But I would like to read Russian classics, preferably in the original and the translation. This may be a long and time-consuming process though.

I'm not a huge fan of the profoundly moving books on human nature and how doomed we all are in the end, because honestly (and I've inherited this from my mother) I'd rather read something entertaining.
The world sucks and we all realize this full well.
I'm sick of being sad about my insignificance in the grand scheme of things, and I just want a stupid disposable murder mystery novel or humanity's newest attempt at humour (has anyone noticed that the novels in the humour section are rarely, if ever, funny?), or a sword and sorcery adventure of epic proportions.

I'll shut up about books now,

~Lenny

P.S. survived first week of school. dreading next week.
P.P.S. Got 2 pairs of jeans.

Summer's over.

Here's a sketchdump of pretty much everything in my sketchbook over this summer (which is not much xD) But yeah we've got here everything from MLIA references, giving my female characters some variations in noses, some clothes, some hands, some abs (fail), and some fairies and creepy shit. Nothing new.

A new painting, because I got new Arches watercolour paper~
Which works beautifully in case anyone's wondering.

Peace,
~Lenny

P.S. School started and math + physics = not a happy Lenny

i have my own voice, and this is what people say for me.

Because I am young, I am hopelessly idealistic about the world around me and do not understand what it means like to truly suffer. The most I understand in my cushy, white, middle-class existence is the fact that I have 2 years of school left before I go off to a college while living at home. I think that the only problem in my life is making sure I wear the right clothes and make friends with the right people, so I can meet the right guy and get ahead in life.

Because I am young, I do not understand what it means to love, because I am not yet resilient and cynical about the emotional capacity of man. I don’t understand what love truly is because my age hasn’t reached past the two decade mark. I don’t understand what it means to truly care for someone because I haven’t been in a failed relationship before, only kissed one boy, and manage to have feelings for all the wrong people.

Because I am young, I have no sense of responsibility and my conscience doesn’t bother me. All I am concerned about is when I get my next allowance, why nobody truly understands me, the fact that my clothes reflect exactly who I am to the world, and that my curfew doesn’t let me stay out nearly late enough.

Because I am a teenager, I have no morals, because fuck the world, nobody understands me anyways.

Because I am a teenage girl, I am insecure, think that I’m far too fat, and care more about what people think of me than I do about things that should truly bother me. I am not intelligent, and if I am, I could not possibly let a boy see me that way. I care about what my cell phone ring tone says about me as a person. I let my worth be judged by others, and do nothing to help my community or better the world around me.

Because I am white, I think I am the superior race and obviously shouldn’t be bothered by the fact that more and more jobs are looking for racial minorities instead of me, because my race is responsible for everything wrong with the world, past, present, and future.

Because I am a female, I want to prove to the world that I am a male. Not that I should have the same rights and the same opportunities as a man, but that I can bench press as much, waste as much of my life away in front of a computer, be as stoic and emotionless, go as long without crying, and generally just go against my biologically hardwired instinct to nurture and interact socially.

Because I am human, I put too much emphasis on the individual and never stop think about people affected on a larger scale.

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of people talking for me.

Letter

This post may be largely ignored due to the somewhat repetitive hormonal angst and hypocritical statements.

Dear Life,

What the fuck.

I kind of realize that it's too much to ask for me to go through my teenage years without some kind of ridiculous drama that seriously isn't worth my time or energy.

But could you at least let me experience in order?

Since when is denial, depression, and then finally acceptance followed by HOLYSHITINEEDTOPUNCHSOMETHING rage?

Ok I am angry.

Irrationally so.

I actually can't remember the last time I've ever gotten so worked up over something that quite seriously isn't even worth it.

I might even end up learning some angry bitter song on the guitar so I can yell along with it. At least my Youtube account would get some new material.

But enough with being optimistic.

DO NOT JUDGE MY MATURITY BASED ON YOURS AT 16.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO ANGRY AT THE FACT THAT I HAVE NOTHING TO BE JEALOUS OF.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO ABSOLUTELY SICKENED BY JUST HOW PREDICTABLE THE HUMAN RACE HAS BECOME.

I HAVE HAD IT WITH BEING UNDERESTIMATED FOR WHATEVER REASON.

THE FACT THAT I AM YOUNG, FEMALE AND WHITE DOES NOT TRANSLATE INTO NAIVE, WEAK AND RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING GOING WRONG WITH THE WORLD PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE.

But on the other hand, my self esteem has never been this great.

So please Life, whatever you're trying to teach me here, could you kinda start speaking my language? Oh and kindly go fuck yourself sideways.

Love,

Lenny.

P.S. I seriously need to go back to TKD and go punch something. Hard. Preferably something that will put up some kind of a fight.

Here's a Bill chibi, drawn for Yuliya's bday. Because you've been such great sports.

Wonderlaaand~

Well I finally managed to crank out a painting after much procrastination and total lack of inspiration. I could have done better but it feels like I haven't touched my watercolours in years.

OHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD.

Well I finally managed to go to Wonderland with a bunch of friends on Wednesday and holy shit why haven't we done that sooner. I have a hard time remembering the last time I've had so much fun.

We didn't get a chance to ride on Behemoth because of how goddamn LONG that line was. Which sucked, but we're sprinting there first chance we get next time.

Everything else was super though :]

I have a whole whack of miscellaneous photos on my computer that I haven't had a chance to upload to Facebook and I'm pretty sure people want to see what creeper photos I've managed to take over the past year or so. This includes the black belt testing, TKD Christmas party, and the wonderland trip.

We'll see if I just end up posting them all together.

I heard something about Lafee doing a duet with Tokio Hotel but can't seem to find the song. Maybe it's in the works at the moment?

I'd love to hear it.

Peace,

~Lenny

Do the Time Warp!

Lenny, in all her embarrassing phases.

Enjoy.

~Lenny

Keys, HBD SARFACE and Tokio Hotel

A drawing because that's how I cope with everything. I need to draw more. I mean seriously, this only took me less than an hour and GAH.
Happy Birthday Sara! I'm sorry that you ended up being the guinea pig that I test out my new nib pen and ink on LOL. Haven't actually ever used a nib pen before, but I am LOVING the line variation and awesome old-fashioned-ness of it all.

WARNING: EXTREME FANGIRLING AHEAD.

*deafening fangirl squeal*

OMG OMG OMG OMG OOH MY EFFING GOD. SMITE ME NOW.

TOKIO HOTEL'S RELEASING THEIR NEW ALBUM "HUMANOID" ON OCTOBER 2ND OF THIS YEAR HOLY SHIT I THINK I JUST DIED A LITTLE INSIDE.

Ok ok no more caps, promise.

1. Bill, I know you make all girls look ugly next to you, and I love you to death, but what on earth is up with the hair? (though he can probably shave his head and still be prettier than I can ever hope to be)

2. *suppressed shriek* Gustav + glasses = <3>

3. I'm not sure how I feel about Tom's cornrows LOL but I love Georg. You have my heart right after Bill.

4. Can you tell I'm excited? I heard a 7 second clip of 2 songs that were leaked on youtube and god I never knew I was capable of such a high-pitched squeal.

5. Come back to Canada sometime soon please.

6. Can you tell that I would sell my soul and my left arm for a chance to meet these guys in person?

Ok ok I'm done, I swear. *deep breath*

~Lenny

ROAD TRIP: Part 2 - Kiptopeke State Park, Virginia

And so starts the long week that I spent in Virginia, camping and bored out of my mind for the most part.

A praying mantis that fell on the picnic table of the family we were camping with.

A horseshoe crab (dead of course)

A blue crab. Native to Chesapeke bay apparently. Ate a ton of these.

I have to give Virginia credit for it's amazing sunsets.

A ghost crab. Cutest things ever. Next to maybe my cat.

The beach :] On one of the most overcast days of the entire week

Obligatory picture of me in a bikini. Moving on.

LOL. A hermit crab

We caught a flounder with a crab trap. Now THAT'S skill.

An undersized sea bass that we let go

My mom on the pier.

Clouds

Another sunset :]

AAAAAAAAAAAnd another one

One more for good luck.

Me in front of a sunset in a dress looking appropriately awkward.

Obligatory jumping pictures.

Hellen insists I look like Britney Spears. I have no idea if I should feel offended or not. I hate that.

My dad's personal fav. "I'm a pretty birdy!"

Last one folks.

It took me far too long to get these pictures up but I guess I've had no motivation as of late. For anything. Let's hope summer picks up and we actually end up going swimming like we planned. No more excitement life, thanks. I'm still recovering from that last curveball you threw.

Peace Out,

~Lenny

P.S. Saw "The Ugly Truth" on Friday and that was by far one of the best romantic comedies I've seen in a long time. It actually made me laugh. Watch it if you have the chance, because predictable it is, but it's still good.