TKD test update. and you know, life in general.

Yet Regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them...it matters not. 

Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world, they became everything to you.

- A chain letter that Sooah sent to me. 

OH-KAY. 

So. 

This is what happened at my TKD belt test yesterday.

Around last period, which is math, i felt like I was going to be sick. Seriously. Had to go to the washroom, walk around and calm down. 

I was so nervous. 

But then I started doing the stupid mixture equations, and was too distracted and frustrated to think about it too much. 

I went home, ate, and felt fine. 

Out TKD teacher told us to come early so we could stretch and warm up and all that stuff. 

So the test, which started at 6 pm, I showed up at 5:30 pm.

And I felt nervous all over again.

And made the mistake of talking to Michael before the test. 

And note to self, that's the worst idea ever. 

I think he might have been attempting to calm me down. didn't work. only threw me into full-blown panic mode. 

So I was working on my 4th pattern, and my failure of a side kick, and I had a teacher all to myself, since nobody of my belt colour had bothered to show up that early. 

and the conversation went something like this:

me: "So, what else do I have to do for the test?"

"Just sparring"

"Craaaaaaaaaap. Who am I sparring?"

"me"

"............WHAT?!?!?!?! D:>"

And then he just laughed, and said "It's okay, I'll go easy on you"

Frick. 

As if that helps. 

Fast forward to me hyperventilating in a corner. 

I got the apparently reassuring pat on the shoulder repeatedly from just about everyone, and I of course almost fell over. 

Cause I'm a klutz and was panicking. 

Then Alex showed up with his sister. 

I felt a little bit better, I was so happy to see him considering that the last time had been somewhere in August?

And then Sooah showed up, followed by a mini-mob of my friends. 

XD

And holy shit I felt so much better when I saw them all. 

somewhat more calm. 

I think I was panicking because Amy wasn't there for the first time. She would have slapped some sense into me. 

Thank God for Amy. 

At least she was there in spirit.

And I didn't end up having to spar full-contact. 

So I was like SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME HYPERTASTIC HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

Okay I think I'm like going through withdrawal symptoms or something. 

I feel weird and nervous if I don't get my daily dose of...him. 

Not nauseous necessarily, but the kind of stomach clenching nervous that I get right before saying a speech or right before waiting for my heat to be called up in a swim meet. 

But as soon as I'm back, it's all good again. 

LOL. 

Wtf Lenny. wtf. 

stupid stupid stupid. 

And about the quote at the top of this, I just felt like it was appropriate. 

And so true that it's sad. 

XD

Peace Out, 

~Lenny