Confession

I have something to admit to all of you.

I am actually Russian.
Disregarding the fact that I was born in Ukraine, my parents were born in Ukraine, my parents' parents were born in Ukraine etc.
Speaking Russian makes me Russian just as speaking Chinese would make me Chinese.
And even IF I was from THE Ukraine, that's basically Russian, right? I mean come on, who the hell cares. Chinese, Korean, same difference.

As an Eastern European, I am associated with the KGB, was at some point best friends with Stalin, am an alcoholic, believe in a communist utopia, and will obviously grow up to be a mail-order bride.

Once being an immigrant, I obviously aim to steal your jobs and live on welfare for the rest of my life.
By not Anglicizing my name, I obviously am a terrorist that hates the government of the country I moved to.

I'm probably going to be an unemployed slacker in the future, as I am planning to go into art. As every knows, there is no respectable living to be made doing what you like to. My contribution to society will therefore be useless since I am not immersing myself in a profession that is more suitable for an honour-roll student.
I am obviously set to waste my potential by not becoming a doctor, a lawyer or an accountant.

Peace,

~Lenny