I SHOULD be doing english

How much older is the person you're currently interested in?
- *coughs* Why are these damn questions so perceptive? A couple years short of a decade. That's how much older.

Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
- Uhh you mean the only person I kissed? yes.

Has that person said they love you in the past week?
- I haven't seen them in years.

What would you do if you found out the person you like was in a relationship?
- I....wouldn't be surprised. Maybe it'd convince me to get over him and get on with my life, but MORE likely, It'll probably crush me heart and soul.

Do you get on with girls?
- Get.....on? HUH?

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
- The laws of probability dictate it to be so. But I highly doubt it.

How long do you have until your birthday?
- 8 weeks and 8 days. So about two months.

Has anyone ever seen you in just your underwear?
- Probably my gym class, the whole swim team, and I dunno, people at TKD? I spend a lot of time in changerooms apparently >_>;
But of course you mean someone significant of the opposite sex. In which case, no.

Who did you last talk to in person?
- I think it was my father. Thanked him for the food. Since I can not cook and would be lost without my parents U_U;

Do you want your tongue pierced?
- OH GOD NO. D:>

Are there any bruises on your body?
- I have like 3 on my right ankle, another few on my shins, and one on my upper thigh. So mostly on my legs. Must. stop. kicking. elbows.

Last awkward moment?
- LOLLL Last night ;)

How late did you stay up last night?
- uhh about 11:30, at which time I spontaneously said goodbye to 6 different people on MSN and logged out and went to sleep. In the span of 2 minutes.

When did you last cry?
- When I was like.....11/12 ish?

How are you feeling?
- Tired, stressed, worried, apprehensive.

Kissed someone in the past twenty-four hours?
- no I have not.

Do you like hugs?
- Adore them

Who was the most recent text from?
- Alex

Do you change your top friends alot?
- No, I'm not sure why I have a top friends app anyways. I have like 4 people tied for first and like 4 more tied for second.

Are you playing hard to get right now?
- If I am, it's not intentional. I'm trying to be blatantly obvious but my dignity prevents me from doing so.

Has anybody ever told you that you have pretty eyes?
- My asian friends are jealous of my eye SHAPE, and the fact that I have the whole double eyelid deal, but nobody once told me that my eyes are PRETTY

When is the next time you will see your closest friend?
- No clue really, whenever we decide to get together during the weekend or something

What are you doing tommorow?
- presenting english powerpoint, handing in science, and you know. the usual. TKD, get people to sign card.

What are you doing after this?
- ENGLISH OMFG. ARFGH.

Who was the last person you had a 7 minute phone conversation with?
- Well the last person I talked to I had an hour and a half long convo with. so a bit more than 7 minutes.

What is your worst subject in school?
- The one I'm the worst at? Geography and as soon as we get to Biology in Science, that.

Are you a bad influence?
- probably LOL no actually I'm a model child (amazingly enough)

Have you spoken to your mother today?
- yep, why wouldn't I? It would be weird if I had not.

Do you think you're wasting your time on the person you like?
- I....really don't know. I wish I knew. But I don't. All I know is that I really care about him.

Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
- No.

20 people.

Can you name 20 people off the top of your head?

1. Alex
2. Eggplant
3. Amy
4. Sarface
5. Ace
6. Mr. Sparkle
7. Olivia
8. Pat
9. Sooah
10. Alex C
11. Robert
12. Sinthu
13. Jessica
14. Veronica
15. Allison
16. Zack
17. Devyn
18. Kelly
19. Zoey
20. Yuliya

THE QUESTIONS:
-How did you meet 10 (Alex C)? Second semester lunch :]

-What would you do if you had never met 6 (Mr. Sparkle)? Go along with life as per usual I guess. But I swear life would not have been anywhere near as awesome.

-What would you do if 19 (Zoey) and 15 (Allison) dated? First off, not believe them, then laugh so hard I'd pee my pants.

-If you could marry between 6 (Mr. Sparkle)and 14 (Veronica) who will it be? MR. SPARKLE. HANDS DOWN. (sorry veronica)

-Would 4 (Sarface) and 12 (Sinthu) make a good couple? LOL NO. They'd probably end up killing each other.

-Would number 1 (Alex) and 2 (eggplant) make a good couple? LMAO YES YES YES. : D

-Do you like 12 (Sinthu)? Yeah she's awesome. :]

-Tell me something about 17 (Devyn): She's kinda sorta understatedly awesome. And we spend nowhere near as much time together as we used to.

-What's 7 (Olivia)'s favourite colour? No idea. Blue?

-What would you do if 1 (Alex) just confessed they loved you? Ask them repeatedly if they were serious. And probably laugh.

-When was the last time you talked to number 15 (Allison)? On MSN? Thursday. In real life? I lost track.. OH about a week and a half ago?

-How do you think 16 (Zack) feels about you? Uhhh. I think he feels more than I want him too.

-What language does 13 (Jessica) speak? English?

-Who is 2 (Eggplant)going out with? Nobody as far as I know.

-How old is 16 (Zack)? 17?

-What is 5 (Ace)s favorite music? Dance/Electronica/Asian stuff

-Would you ever date 3 (Amy)? In a heartbeat.

-Is 11 (Robert) single? Yep. With good reason. jk jk.

-What is 10 (Alex C)s last name? Chang

-Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 9 (Sooah)? Nah, I don't think I could stand the heartbreak. She'd get bored of me in about a week.

-Where does 18 (Kelly) live? I don't know but I'm pretty sure I've been there >_>;

-What do you think about 20 (Yuliya)? I think she's pretty cool, even though her standards and her taste in guys is questionable.

-What is the best thing about 4 (Sarface)? BEST: her blonde-ness

-What would you like to tell 14 (veronica) right now? Uhhhh nothing really.

-How did you meet 9 (Sooah)? Lunch/swim practice

-What is the best and worst thing about 19 (Zoey)? BEST: how gullible she is WORST: how gullible she is

-Are you going to know 5 (Ace) forever? YES. WE SHALL GROW OLD AND WRINKLY TOGETHER.

-Is number 12 (Sinthu) the love of your life? Pretty Much.

-Is number 8 (Pat) the most gorgeous person you have ever met? Ahhh, well since I haven't met Bill yet, he probably has a fighting chance.

-Who is number 18 (Kelly)? kelly....

Hallelujah

Ignore the picture up there because it quite honestly does nothing but share the post title and prove that I am not dead and am in fact working on something.

I am cheerful this morning, which may have something to do with the amazing weather, or sleeping in until about 11:30 am instead of waking up at 7 am.
Although, I have a whole crapload of homework that I promised myself that I'd finish this weekend so I can have all projects/paragraphs/reflections/essays/sketchbook assignments/etc. done by this week.
I'm going to seriously need that security, so there's really no room for procrastination, quite unfortunately.

But other than that little pep-talk of sorts, yesterday was all sorts of awesome. My only wish was that Amy would be able to take the Friday adult class again, and she says that she will come next week. :] And hopefully next week, Thursday will not be brutal, and I can take two classes and actually attempt to keep that promise.
I'm really bad at recognizing vague hints, which would explain why so many people are annoyed as hell by me and my occasional blonde-ness.

But anyways, I'm unusually cheerful and am laughing at random intervals for no particular reason. My parents are getting slightly freaked outabout it, but I think after this past year they have learned to cope.
Things that I thought would be a major factor in deciding what happens from here on out are no longer such a major factor apparently. And on the one hand, that takes my chances to 50/50. But taking the 50/50/90 rule into acount, if your chances are ever 50/50, there's a 90% chance you'll get the wrong 50.
And now, since that major factor is taken out of the way, I'm analyzing every other part of myself and I wonder if I'm ever actually going to be okay if I follow through with this. Here's hoping eh?

Peace,

~Lenny

Not happy.

Lately, I feel like somewhat of a jackass. And you know, maybe I am. But at the moment I really don't give a flying fig about what anyone really says anymore.
This is my excuse to vent, and if you come here for the (much needed) updates up top, then go on your merry way and ignore everything past this point.


As a friend, there is only so much whining, bitching, and general "my middle-class suburban life sucks" that I am obligated to put up with. And I think I'm reaching my limit.
I mean, your love life (or lack of) might suck, but honestly, how ever much you want to cry about not seeing him last sunday or how he just doesn't UNDERSTAND you, or how your opinions on capital punishment don't match, I HONESTLY DON'T GIVE A SHIT RIGHT NOW. REALLY.

ALL YOU ARE DOING IS RUBBING SALT AND VINEGAR AND FREAKING PEROXIDE SOLUTION INTO MY WOUND.


At least the object of your affections will still be here in a year. In two years. For prom, for grad. For every birthday until you become legal.
At least you're not faced with the choice of either forgetting about someone who has impacted your life to the extent that you can not imagine life without them,
or waiting for a third of your existance thus far for something that might never even happen.


Yeah I'm pissed.
Yeah I'm sad to the point that I honestly can't bring myself to enjoy anything anymore.


Amazingly enough, I have more of a social life than I've had in years, and I'm outside far more often. But inevitably I'll end up back in my room, thinking. And right now, thinking is absolutely the worst thing for me to be doing.


I get mixed advice from my friends.


I have no idea if I'll follow through with anything.

Right now, I know that nothing I say will make him stay. That doesn't mean that I'm not going to try. All I can ask for is that whatever I choose to do, my friends manage to accept somehow.
If I feel like spending a huge chunk of my life hoping on something that will never happen and choking on regret for all the things I didn't say, then so be it.


It's my choice.


And I hope with all my soul that I make the right one.


Peace,

~Lenny

Watched Coraline today in 3D

Are you strong enough for this survey?
here's hoping.

When is the last time you had butterflies?
Uhh. Last week I think. Or you know, the insane butterflies, sometime in March?

Ever taken a picture kissing somebody?
God no and I hope I never will. Though I've always wondered how people actually do it without a third party observer.

Are you someone who is an ass because you're so honest?
Some people may think so. But I tend to be a really good diplomat?

Do you think making out is slutty?
Not if you keep to a handful of people. And never at the same time.

Was your last kiss perfect?
I barely remember what it felt like. It probably was not perfect though. But then again I have no basis for comparison.

How often do you give out second chances?
Too often.

Do you have any new pictures?
What do you mean? From the AGO yeah.

Ever wanted to never give up on someone?
Yeah now. But THAT's not happening anytime soon.

Be honest, ever listened to Aaron Carter?
uh. no.

What about, "My Life Would Suck Without You" by Kelly Clarkson?
i don't think i've heard that song

Ever had your heart broken?
Hmm. I've come close.

How is your mood?
frustrated, depressed, hopeless, annoyed and tired.

Three hours ago, were you touching a person of the opposite sex?
no I was not.

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
I don't have the slightest idea.

Does the song you're currently listening to remind you of anyone special?
Probably. Everything reminds me of one person nowadays.

Is your MySpace headline from a song?
uh. I have no idea. I haven't been on myspace in what seems like years. Apparently, yes.

Have you ever run over an animal?
No.

What are you afraid of?
Clowns, stuff hiding in the dark, needles, crickets.

Who made you mad today?
Sara annoyed me.

How's your life lately?
Not the greatest place to be. Seriously? It blows.

Is there a difference between love and in love?
Yes. You don't need to be in love with somebody to love them.

Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
If i wanted to.

Has anyone disappointed you recently?
Yeah. really. I wasn't surprised, I was disappointed.

Is there anyone you wish you could be spending time with right now?
YES YES YES

Three feelings at the moment?
Longing, frustrated, tired

Do you know anyone who smokes pot?
no, actually. Not personally

Does anyone call you babe/baby?
not if they know what's good for them.

What's something that bothers you about girls?
Materialistic self-centered attention whores?

Whose bed were you last in other than your own?
My parents'?

Have you ever cried in front of your number one?
Um nope.

Do you get jealous easily?
No I do not. Some may say otherwise though.

Ever kissed someone who smokes?
No. But at the moment, I really really want to.

Are you starting to realize anything?
Yeah. To quote Maroon 5 "You're my reason for living now, there's no way I'm giving up"

When you're walking, do you stop to drink?
Not usually. Actually, I've never really thought about it.

How was last night?
uneventful.

Are there any stressful situations in your life?
yeah. And they're eating me alive.

What were the best days of the week so far?
Wednesday, Thursday.

Have you ever left school just because you didn't want to be there?
No, I'm not that much of a badass.

Does it make you mad when people stare at you?
No, it makes me feel either flattered or slightly nervous.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
My dad? And considering what you consider DEEP, then Amy.

Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point and aren't around much anymore?
Yes, yes there is.

Did anything cute happen today?
Bill Kaulitz :]

Do people ever spell your name wrong?
Not my name, my last name for the most part. And I've gotten some FUCKED spellings.

Is tommorow going to be a good day?
Saturday. It should be.

Who did you last hug?
Amyy. <3

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants?
Pjs.

Are you hungry for anything?
No

Will you be in bed in the next 20 minutes?
uhh. Quite possibly.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, Zune, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 10 friends.
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Haru Haru (Day by Day) - Big Bang
I'm assuming that means NO I'M NOT OKAY

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Duality- Bayside
HAHAHAHAH this is far too accurate.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY?
Kiss and Control - AFI
Oh yeah. for serious :]

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Call it Karma - Silverstein
Oh god the accuracy of this is sickening.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
For the Nights I Can't Remember - Hedley

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Shut Me Up - Mindless Self Indulgence
That's more my goal. But sure.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace
My friends probably think I'm unstable at the moment.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Pain - Jimmy Eat World
....

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Bubbly - Colbie Caillat
Bubbly? Like champagne?

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Mama - My Chemical Romance
This explains my math average.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
O - DBSK
LOLLL.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Hug - DBSK
I like hugs, so sure.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Shattered Dreams - Johnny Hates Jazz
More like "what's actually going to happen when I grow up"

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Without You I'm Nothing - Placebo
.....stupid iPod. It's feeling my brain

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Rammstein - Rammstein
....LOL okay?

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
1985 - Bowling For Soup
"she wishes she was born in 1985"

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban
Well unless a person is considered a hobby

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Opening - Danny Elfman
Opening? hmmm.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Disenchanted - My Chemical Romance
....it is?

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
It Had to Be You - Motion City Soundtrack
Him. that's what I want.

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Total Eclipse of the Heart - Carly Smithson

of mafias, march break, pain and gang rape

A random sketch that I'm working on at the moment. It'll probably be scrapped in favour of a better one and one that's drawn ON PAPER.
As handy as Photoshop is, I still can not get the hang of drawing in it properly. As much as I love the look of photoshop sketches.

Mmkay so this picture has some meaning to it, as me and Stace are going to go somewhere with a mafia story. Mostly because it's enough gun slinging violence and intrigue to satisfy me, and enough potential for some epic romance to satisfy her.
So in the end, everyone's happy!

We tried writing some part of this story (which I'm assuming will be written like a role play) and Stace game me this:

It was silent.
No one spoke a word after finding out that what happened back there wasnt an accident.

And I responded with:

Len looked at Nikki for a while before speaking.
"What do you mean you left the keys in the car?"

WHICH IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WRITING COMFORT ZONES CLASHING. Trust me to take something serious and make it stupid. I dunno, funny day-to-day human nature stuff is my thing. I can do angst but not without sounding cliched.
And Stace has got the angsty epic romance covered.
Which I am incapable of writing.
So you know, this should be fun.

I've been doing some research on the mafia, and the original Sicilian one, the Cosa Nostra literally translated to "Our Thing" which I LOLed at for a while.

So, it's Sunday.
The last day of March break before we have to drag our asses back to school, and of course that means that all my procrastinator friends will of course be doing homework that was assigned over the course of a week the night before.
I stayed up till about 2 am last night working on my 14 sketchook assignments, and occasionally writing a few sentences for the mafia drabble thing we were doing to keep ourselves occupied and somewhat distracted.

I have officially promoted Friday to being my favourite day of the week.
closely followed by Wednesday, but since Friday is the end of the week, and promises to allow me to sleep in until ungodly hours in the morning/afternoon, FRIDAY WINS.

MMmmmkay now's my time to list what I did this March break in somewhat chronological order.

Monday: Monday I was supposed to hang with my friend Yuliya, but she ended up cancelling and I did nothing but go to TKD as per usual.

Tuesday: Tuesday I ACTUALLY I hung out with my friend Yuliya for literally the first time in a long time. I met two of her friends that decided to ditch us right after the movie, so we spent the entire time spazzing about Tokio Hotel. Even though I've mostly gotten over my obsessive phase. Oh yeah, and we watched "He's Just Not That Into You". Went to TKD for the first time in a long time on a Tuesday (I usually have guitar) and made the stupid mistake of eating right before the class. Almost died/puked. Learned my lesson.

Wednesday: WEDNESDAY I hung out with Nick, Amy, Stace, Sooah, and Sara eventually. Everyone ended up leaving except for me and Ace, so we hoboed outside, talked about um.... boys. And how I'm being dragged to prom. And we got coffee from a vending machine.
I was 5 minutes late meeting my friends, because as I was walking to the entrance of Sq.1, some random lady stopped me with,"Where do you get your hair done?"and I reply with "Oh THIS I did myself".
Even though my bangs are the fault of my mother but I really didn't want to go into detail with a stranger about the hairdresser that I go to. So the lady keeps rambling on about how she had a friend with the same hairstyle, and she looked 20 years younger and she got gang raped and had to leave the country cause they threatened to get her students if she went to the police, and this entire conversation lasted for about 5 minutes.
Keep in mind I have never seen this lady before in my life.
I just nodded every so often with transition phrases like "oh really?" and "That's too bad".I moved my purse over both shoulders and in front of me, and kept glancing breifly around me. Because this type of thing is reaaaaallly common in Ukraine.
One person starts talking and distracts you, and another comes from behind to steal your bag.
The entire time I was going through every self defense move that I learned in TKD. My masters would be so proud. xD
So yeah, that ended with me smiling and saying "I'm gonna go now," and her nodding and going back to smoke and lean against the wall.I'm kinda happy that I didn't have to pull out my phone and pretend to be talking to someone, saying stuff like "Oh I have to go, my boyfriend's waiting for me g2g bye".
So that was.....interesting. I hope my hairstyle doesn't lead to gang rape.
Oh and TKD was cancelled that day because they were getting the floors fixed or something on the kendo side of the gym :(

Thursday: Thursday Alex and Egg came over to my house and we talked about life, played Clue, fooled around on my computer & tablet, and yeah It was great to see those two again. Oh yeah and we ended up biking uphill to Alex's house twice :(
Had to kick those two out of my house at about 6, by the time I got back from walking/biking to Alex's house, it was 6:30 so went straight to TKD.
EASIEST CLASS IN THE HISTORY OF EVER DEAR LORD. Even though my abs hurt, my legs hurt, and yeah just about everything hurt like a bitchface.

Friday: FRIDAY was strange. It was a welcome break from all of the malling and Sq. 1 visits that I had been doing for the majority of March break. I just chilled, drew some crap, tried writing some pointless things, and yeah just generally chilled and took a day to myself. Amy just about BEGGED me to come to TKD early because she can't take the adult class on Fridays anymore. And me being the enormous pushover that I am, decided that I might as well get some art stuff done in the 45 minute class.
But noooooooooooooooo. Amy happened to be THE ONLY ONE THERE. And I couldn't let her take the class by herself, being the great friend that I am. Even though I was still sore from TUESDAY I dragged my ass back to the changeroom and ended up taking the early class. YAY. *sarcasm*
Arfgh so anyways, that class wasn't particularly hard until we had to do about 10 sit ups and I'm pretty sure I was in severe blinding pain that I do not remember anymore. I'm pretty sure that there was a reason for that. Mmkay so then the adult class started and I realized I was the only one there.
This might have been my 3rd private class in a row, and I'm kind of on the fence about them still. I hate big classes, but literally being the ONLY ONE THERE besides the masters is a bit intimidating.
But it was fun, and that concluded the weekday porch of my March break.

Saturday I spent being sore and irritable since my neck and shoulders hurt like a bitch. Oh and I got a new jacket. yay :]

Okay that's enough rambling from me.

Peace,

~Lenny